Marital Bliss Mondays: 10 Essential Behaviors to Keep Your Marriage Strong

I’m really excited about my first Marital Bliss Mondayspost. I hope you will join me in encouraging each other on how to build stronger marriages, support each other through ups and downs, lift each other up and remember each other in prayer.

 

Have you ever heard anyone say the first year marriage is always the hardest for newly married couples to get through? Sometimes even the first two years? I’ve heard it said a lot. Not necessarily directed towards me, but in conversation I’ve heard individuals say, “Well, you know, the first year of marriage can be the hardest to get through”. I’m sure there is some truth to this. Marriage is a big adjustment, but can also be a great one and a wonderful journey.

My husband and I celebrated our first year of marriage this month, and as I reflected on the past year, I was happy to discover that our first year together wasn’t hard at all. This isn’t because we are perfect people, with a perfect life so in return we have the perfect marriage. No, not at all. We are very much imperfect people, living in an imperfect world, who had to work and discover ways in which we would have a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we are continuing to learn, and we know as time goes by, and changes begin to occur in our lives, we will have to rediscover ways to keep our marriage strong.

 

I’d like to share with you a list of 10 behaviors Matt and I discovered are essential in our marriage. I know every marriage is different, and not all of these may work for you, but in return I’d love to know what makes your marriage work. I think we can all learn from and inspire each other to build stronger marriages. I’d also love to hear from you moms out there. I can understand how much life must change after the arrival of children. So, what changes were made in your marriage to keep your relationship strong, bonded, and a priority in the midst of caring for a new life?

Okay here they are 10 Essential Behaviors to Keep Your Marriage Strong. Remember, these behaviors must be possessed by both individuals. Also, I have put them in order of importance to me.

1.       Pray Together: It is so important to us that we not only have our own personal time to pray, but that we also take time each day to pray together. We both stand on the belief that God brought us together, and now together, with Him, we will triumph any struggle. Without a doubt in my mind, this has been the glue that holds together and brings us closer to God and each other every day.

2.       Pray For Each Other: Every morning after Matt kisses me bye and leaves for the day, I immediately begin praying over him. I’m usually still in bed and half asleep, because he leaves rather early. I don’t know that I even think about it, it just happens. I pray for his protection; I pray that he receives courage and strength to face the day; and I pray that he seeks God in all he does. I lift him up in prayer and know he’s protected.

3.       Learn to Communicate: I say learn, because if you’re like me, good communication will be something you have to learn to do. I was always the type to bottle up feelings, and not share them with anyone. This type of behavior can lead to a lot of stress and resentment. I soon learned that by discussing with Matt anything that was on my mind and bothering me, I was able to release a lot of tension. I go here with communication because it was such a struggle for me, but I understand communication can be so much more. We always tell each other about our days, we ask questions, show interest, share ideas and thoughts and encourage. Most importantly, we listen. Good communication isn’t complete without good listening.

4.       Encourage Each Other: We both have dreams and aspirations, and though many of these dreams are the same, several are different and our own. Not once has Matt discouraged me from something I wanted to do. If anything, he embraces it, and shares his ideas and thoughts that only motivate me more. In return, I do the same. I encourage and support him in his career and where he wants it to take him. In all he aspires to do and be, I’m behind him 100%.

5.       Help One Another: Be a team. In our house, chores are not assigned based on gender or stereotype. We both pitch in around the house, inside or out. I do agree that things fall into a system in which I may do more of the cooking and cleaning, and he takes care of things outdoors. But the point is we always ask if there is some way we can help each other. Matt doesn’t have the attitude of “I got up and worked all day, so I’m going to sit here while she cooks, and wait for my dinner to be served.” If he asks once, he asks a hundred times if there is any way he can help me. There is no right or wrong here. This is how we operate, and it works for us.

6.       Go to Each Other First: We never discuss problems, issues or concerns we may have with each other with anyone other than each other. This goes back to communication. If Matt has done something to upset me, it’s not going to help him understand or resolve the problem if I go talk to my sister about it before he even knows what the problem is. Besides our marriage is our marriage, and it’s always best to keep it that way.

7.       Say “I Love You”: Plain and simple, we always say “I love you”. There is no telling how many times a day we say it, and every time it’s said, it’s meant.

8.       Have Each Other’s Back: Don’t put each down. Have you ever been around those couples who bash each other in front of others? That’s always so painful for me to watch. I can only imagine how the one who is being bashed may feel. I never want to embarrass Matt in front of others, and I would never let someone else embarrass him. Matt is this way with me as well. When we get together with my family, my sisters love to tease me. It’s all in good fun, but Matt never encourages it and there have been times when after we left, he’d ask if I was okay. This goes back to being a team, being one.

9.       Say “Thank You”: No matter what it is, say “thank you”. I always let Matt know I’m thankful for all he does for me and for us. From getting up each morning to provide for us, to him bringing me a glass of water, I’m thankful.

10.   Have Fun: Just be silly. I love to make Matt laugh, and I love, love when he is goofy and he makes me laugh! We really do have a great time together, and because of the first nine behaviors, it’s easy for us to enjoy each other and have fun!

So now, you tell me…what has worked for you? I’d really love for you share and be a part of Marital Bliss Mondays

Have a great week everyone!

Rachel